… Another Story(ies)

Hello there, internet (without any people read it) pals–read: cables and satellite of internet signal. Literally.

Well, if you (a.k.a cables and satellite again) read previous post then you know that I already been to Batam, Indonesia… I wanna to tell you something real; today, this second is December 15, 2017, 8:46 PM Indonesia time… and in middle of November I’ve been to Padang, Indonesia.

Gosh, and there isn’t any motivation to write anything about those trips (should I change my blog’s name to Unfinished Blog?). One thing for sure, those trips were really my treasures; especially the last trip, I went there with my whole big–I mean VERY big family. My brothers and sisters from my Dad all is came, plus one sister from my Mom… and they were brought their wifes (?) and husbands (whom still alive).

But those aren’t what I want to write tonight.

I’m listening to Tonight by Westlife.

Yes. Westlife. Are you (hello cables and satellite) still remember that boyband?

Westlife is from Ireland… and I LOVE THEM. I knew them when I was in my primary school and ’till now, like for 20 years and more. I’m pretty sure, in my country, those boyband is more popular than Backstreet Boy or Boyzone or another boyband… Or maybe that cause every kids in my circle is also like them. But not like me and my friend, D. We’re really crazy about them.

I wanna make confession to you (yes, again you cables and satellites), I know Celine Dion because Titanic is really big as also the song. But I refuse to watch those movie back then–ups, as I recall, I never watched it as a whole movie until now. Teehee.

Well, in my first of my status as Pengacara* (PENGangguran banyak aCARA a.k.a unemployment but have many events) accidentally I listen to one of another songs she had and I fell. I fell in love with her songs.

Even though I don’t know ALL of her song (or ALL of Westlife’s songs, even I recently knew that Beautiful in White is from Shane, though I know his voice was really familiar to me when I first listen to it), but I REALLY like her songs in English or in French. She has that voice, you know. That dramatic voice while Westlife have dramatic music… Of course same with Celine Dion.

Oh, it’s never end to write I love dramatic song and voice moreover from them… And all of it is, my opinion that is, meaningless. *sigh*

I love dramatic songs from Celine Dion:

  • It’s All Coming Back to Me   (OH YES!)
  • I Surrender   (YEAH!)
  • That’s The Way It Is
  • Be The Man
  • I’m Alive

I love dramatic music (and lyrics) from Westlife:

  • Beautiful in White
  • My Love   (Once again, YEAH!)
  • If I Let You Go
  • You Raise Me Up
  • Tonight

And of course, if you talk (or write) about dramatic song, you can’t forget about Whitney Houston. I really love her songs:

  • I will Always Love You
  • I have Nothing
  • (I wanna say ‘and many more’ but I have to honest to my self… I don’t really know about another songs by her. I’m sorry Whitney Houston’ fans. If you have a (or two or three or 200) song(s) that “seriously, you have to listen to this,” you say, just leave a comment and I’ll search it!

((….. seriously. Even though I know that only cables and satellites which read my post…))

Beside those three singers, of course THERE ARE many, many, many more dramatic songs that I adore, from diverse singer; man and woman but one thing they have similarity is they were old song. Songs that my Dad and Mom usually listen, and yeah, I prefer those songs and nowadays songs–although I listen to them too as a music lover despite my interest to those never last long.

What else…?

Hm, my reading-appatite is haven’t come back, but when I’m in travel, it came. In house–which place I always spent my precious time with doing nothing I WANNA CRY HERE–it come very seldom as I always prefer to read manga (a.k.a Japanesse comic) or watch Korean reality show, Running Man.

OH! Let’s move on to that subject, Running Man. I LOVE THAT SHOW. I mean, I always change the channel when it comes reality show in my country… But what happens with them? Why I felt disposed to bought kuotas to watch them online with streaming system? Why they’re so special? Though Indonesia have a similar game show which is X Game (or something? I’m not really remember but the main member is from comedian group, Bajaj and many others comedian artist) ok, I have watched them and yeah, sometimes I don’t got bored and laugh cause of them… but unfortunately, most of times, I got bored and if I don’t turn my TV’s volume a pretty high, I can’t heard what they spoke (and maybe, regardless this reason, I read subtitle while I watched RM). I felt Indonesian jokes is too much for me. They’re really harsh, ALTHOUGH (I have to fair in this) Korean jokes is harsh either, while Indonesian have delimiter that unspoken, Islamic rules.

The world knows that Korean is really emphasize their looks, and sometimes, in my opinion, they really bearish with it–let’s say when Haha jokes about Gary’s look, he said that Gary’s face is same with dried squid… which that is term for the ugliest from ugly standard. Ok, ok, and when my Mom said, “Indonesia is rude too about looks.” and yeah, that is true. Everybody always comment about another people looks and really concern about their look and how to became more than what they have.

Of course, I wouldn’t say it was wrong. Me, as a fashion lover (meh), pay attention to how I dressed, my make-up, and my attitude. They said, “do not judge people from outside,” but when you first met someone new, outer-self is the first ever people saw. First impression. How else you want to convince your HRD?

Aw, look at those, becoming very long, meaningless words (or should I change this name’s blog to Meaningless and Stupidity Words of Blog?) and the time is 10:05 PM.

I want to sleep… after read yaoi manga first, I think.

No. I will.


Bye, for now. See you again at depressing time, Cables and Satellite of my Internet.


… Nona.



It’s Already Mid 2017!

Well, this post would be my first post in 2017… and this already in June!

Gosh! What did I do with my life ’till now? Nothin’. I’m NEET* now, I’m cryiingg! (I’ll make sure to not be a shut-in NEET, tho, ’cause these days I already felt that house is the “safest” place. Of course. Yes.)

Many people… well the last person who asked me this question is teacher in my course (and I don’t really like him, shh)… asked me, ‘what would you do in next 6 month?’

Well, if myself is very confident person being, that question is really piece of cake to answer. But me? Well, yes, I had took English course with something in mind. A very ambitious and naive plan I had… cause I haven’t reach the half of minimal score. And my English is not really getting better… *scream*

But nevermind. I CAN.

*sigh* make yourself to be confident is kinda lame *sigh*

Oh, whatever. Let’s moving to next topic.

While I’m not finishing my post about “trip” in Europe, I’m already traveling again with my aunts and uncles to Batam… More homework to me, I guess.

Once, there’s a thought to make a YouTube channel about my traveling… But as I’m thinking more, it’s kinda impossible hard for me. I can’t do editing, moreover video. I don’t have many nor interesting video. And the important one, I’m not confident enough.

Yet. All of it with “yet”.

Oh, well, let’s done one by one. And now is finishing the traveling stories. Wohoo!




A Little Thing What I Felt about EU.

So, a few days ago… well not really, wow, this is Dec 13th, so this is exactly one month since my first amazingly trip to Europe!

So happy!

At first, I want directly write what I did, what I saw, what I felt in there. But, the way from Istanbul to Jakarta, my body get down. I felt sick. And then the jet lag. And the stress cause the long waited this trip (I wait almost one year for this) has ended and now–indirectly–my parents want me to really take the next step; get a job or continue my studies.

But, oh well, let’s we just get the little Europe stories!

November 13, 2016.

We depart from Jakarta, Indonesia to Schiphol, Amsterdam–through Istanbul, Turkey.

Well, I like everything matters related to aviation–including the airport. And Schiphol is really a big airport! Although I didn’t managed to take a look everything in there. Likewise Istanbul Ataturk Havalimani!

November 14, 2016.

We arrived at morning and we straight to Volendam, and we have brunch in there. And then back again to our hotel in Ibis, close to Schiphol… I know. Such a… Oh well. But that is at night we checked in.

Volendam is a small city in rim of Netherlands. In there we ate at small restaurant which the food is pretty nice for the first food I ate in there. Like a fish stew? Idk, but it nice.

((to be continued))

“Keraskan Dirimu, Sebelum Kau di Keraskan Dunia”

That’s what my college friend told me.

Maksudnya adalah, kau harus berusaha dengan keras sebelum dunia memaksamu untuk berusaha.

Kau tahu, kau tidak suka bila ada seseorang yang memaksamu atau bahkan memerintahmu.

So do I.

When they not someone you’re respect nor someone who doesn’t have status above you, it always made me rebel.

(Am I a kid *palmface)

My friend called me a few minutes ago. He’s working now as a banker. And when I still didn’t have formal job yet, he’s really consider about it (it looks like that; and NO, there’s no romance between us, he’s so similar with me so it usually made me annoyed of him) and he’s telling me that I have get back on track (read: job hunter status) and make myself really trying to get myself a proper job.

I guess that’s what he’s mean.

But, as I told you in previous notes, that I still have much thought in me. You know…

If you read it (and you can understand what I mean with my poor grammar) and willing to give a minutes of your time, please kindly give me some opinion or just what you thinking; should I forget about going to Europe (and ‘release’ my Dad from defray me) or get any job (and get out from being a cashier)?




It’s 2016!

So, here I’am again… Back to write something unimportant thought in my blog.

And it’s March!

The last I wrote in here is two years ago, about losing our beloved grandma.

And since then, I’ve graduated from Sociology department, UNPAD at April 28, 2015. Made it on time–or less, three years 4 month–approximately.

Well, but since graduation on August, I didn’t get any activities… *don’t look at my belly!
Yep, I graduated with my second Bro… Just don’t ask any further, teehee.

But, well, I don’t know if my activities right now can told ‘working’.

Cashier. I ‘work’ on that, on some publishing near my house. And since semester 5, I sold novels, so it made me easier (and harder) to continue with that online novel shop (you can check @asafiction on instagram, thank you ;))

You already know that I’m a book–novel lover, addict, etc. And there’s meme around booklover that we want getting paid by just reading. And I did it.

Became a cashier, which doesn’t have customers all the time, I have plenty times to read. It’s nice, right? But on the other hand, after three months in there, I get tired reading. I know, I know what you guys would says, but imagine it; so much time, a whole days I read one novel by one novels. Eventually, no matter I love to read, it will get tired of me.

And I have so much thinking these days. About continuing became a cashier (well, I’m bachelor afterall, there’s additional title after my last name), getting some formal job, no, I think I’ll hold ‘job hunter’ status ’till I came back from Europe (amiinn, I hope there’s no any hitch until then and back).

Everytime I think about these things, I always get exhaled.

But, keep positive, Non! Bismillah.

(as if I’m so agamais, teehee)


A.P.S. Non.

Seorang Wanita yang Tangguh.

Hj. Yama Soemargo binti Kenasin

Apa yang kuketahui tentang beliau?

Beliau merupakan ibu dari ayahku yang merupakan anak kesepuluh dari sebelas bersaudara. Memang cukup untuk membuat satu tim sepakbola campuran laki-laki dan wanita. Oke, bercanda.

Tapi dari anak yang berhasil ia lahirkan, sebelas orang, sudah membuktikkan dari awal bahwa beliau adalah wanita yang sangat tangguh.

Itu, poin pertama.

Beliau lahir pada 4 Mei 1920—tidak perlu membayangkan dimana keberadaanku dan kamu pada tahun itu. Sungguh, tidak perlu.

Beliau lahir di Pagar Alam, suatu tempat yang baru aku tahu saat beliau meninggal. Saat kesana, memang tidak tepat ke tempat beliau lahir, tapi sudah membuktikkan bahwa tempat itu sangat indah dan asri.

Beliau menikah dengan seorang pria di Lahat—pada tahun berapa? Entah, saya lupa. Belum pernah mendengar Kota Lahat juga? Tak apa, aku pun baru tahu saat—tidak, bukan saat beliau sudah meninggal, tetapi sudah lebih lama aku mengetahuinya.

Pria itu kerja apapun, dari kepala masinis di Lahat hingga kepala suatu perusahaan di Bandar Agung, itu berada di Lampung. Kerjanya tidak menetap dan berpindah-pindah, membuat wanita mengikutinya dengan anak-anak yang setiap tahun bertambah.

Hingga pada akhirnya pria itu meninggal karena penyakit dan sedang berada jauh dari sisi istrinya.

Saat itu istrinya telah melahirkan anak terbungsu, anak kesebelas, yang telah berusia dua tahun. Sebagai seorang ibu yang memiliki sebelas anak, kini tanpa ada seorang pria yang menanggung segala keperluannya,  beliau terpaksa untuk membiarkan suaminya terbaring untuk selamanya di Lampung, tak dapat membawanya ke sisinya untuk terakhir kalinya.

Kau tahu? Itu sangat menyedihkan.

Tahun-tahun terus berlanjut. Anak-anak terus tumbuh dan berkembang. Segala keperluan untuk bertahan hidup terus bertambah. Wanita itu bekerja—sesuatu yang dilarang pada saat itu bila seorang suami masih ada, namun dengan keadaan yang berubah, wanita itu mengikuti ujian dan melamar untuk menjadi guru SD. Banyak masa yang menyenangkan yang ia lalui bersama dengan anak-anaknya.

Wanita itu tetap bersiteguh bahwa anak-anaknya harus bersekolah—tetap bersekolah. Ia percaya bahwa pendidikan adalah penting bagi anak-anaknya.

Tahun demi tahun berlalu, anak-anaknya semakin tumbuh besar dan mulai meninggalkan tempat bernaung mereka; ada yang ke Jakarta, Bandung, Surabaya dan kota-kota lainnya.

Dari Lahat,  wanita itu dipaksa untuk pindah ke Palembang bersama anak tertua kedua dan suaminya. Lalu pindah ke Bekasi, lebih dekat dengan kebanyakkan anak-anaknya. Namun ia tidak betah setelah beberapa tahun. Ia lebih memilih untuk kembali ke Palembang.

Hingga ajal menjemputnya.

Secara harfiah.

25 Juli 2014.

Setiap tahun, setiap anak-anaknya berusaha untuk berkumpul dengan ibu mereka, membawa keluarga baru yang lebih kecil. Cucu-cucu hingga cicit-cicit harus mengenal nenek dan buyut mereka.

Bagiku sendiri, tak ada yang harus disalahkan, well, mungkin aku bisa menyalahkan diriku sendiri, tapi aku tak banyak memiliki kenangan bersama nenekku, wanita tangguh itu. Selain dari cerita-cerita yang sering ayahku ceritakan ulang, aku tak tahu banyak mengenainya ditambah dengan kemampuan ingat jangka pendekku.

Baik, ini pengakuanku.

Ketika aku kecil, aku tak ingat kontakku dengan nenek. Ketika aku mulai besar, aku tak banyak bercakap dengannya. Mungkin karena jarak antara tempat tinggalku dan nenek yang lumayan jauh—butuh waktu satu jam menggunakan pesawat—dan hanya neneklah satu-satunya orang yang seusianya yang kutahu—kakek dan nenek dari ibuku telah pergi sebelum aku ada, sehingga aku tak banyak tahu bagaimana harus berhadapan dengannya. Entahlah, beliau itu bukan om dan tante—yang biasanya aku pun selalu canggung berhadapan dengan mereka, beliau itu seseorang yang paling tua di keluargaku. Aku tak terbiasa, itu saja.

Karena itu aku sanggup untuk menahan tangisku saat mendengar berita itu. Aku pun harus kuat demi ayah dan ibuku. Kau tahu kenapa.

Tapi setiap aku mengingatnya, aku selalu mengingat kulitnya yang merenggang karena usia dengan kelembutannya—aku sangat takut menyentuh kulitnya yang sangat lembut dan rapuh, takut bila kusentuh akan terjadi sesuatu yang buruk, rambut putihnya yang sangat-sangat-sangat panjang yang selalu ia gerai setelah mandi dan keramas. Aku pernah memandangi nenek setelah mandi, duduk di kursi di depan cermin dan sedang menyisir rambutnya yang sangat-sangat-sangat panjang lalu menggelungnya-menggelungnya-menggelungnya lagi menjadi cepolan di atas rambutnya hanya ditusuk dengan jepitan khusus dan voila! Rambut itu tidak akan berantakkan seharian. Dan satu hal lagi yang selalu kuingat tentangnya adalah gunting kuku. Setiap anak—well tidak, setiap cucu selalu menanyakan padanya tentang gunting kuku, diberitahukannya tempatnya dan setelah itu pasti selalu ada kata-kata, “kembalikan lagi ke tempat asalnya setelah selesai dipakai, supaya tidak sulit untuk mencarinya lagi.” Yah, semacam itulah.Dan itu berlaku untuk setiap barang-barangnya. Aku pun mengingat bahwa nenek selalu bersiteguh untuk selalu menyapu rumahnya, katanya itulah satu-satunya olahraga yang dapat ia lakukan. Itu, saat beliau masih sehat walau berumur. *berkaca pada diriku sendiri!*

Setiap ke kamarnya, pemandangan menggelung rambut dan gunting kuku itu selalu teringat padaku.

Namun aku tak begitu ingat akan nenek di saat-saat terakhirnya. Entah karena apa, aku tak belum pernah ikut merawat nenek semenjak beliau jatuh sakit dan sakitnya semakin parah. Hanya dari berita yang setia diberitakan di whatsapp grup Soemargo dan tentu saja dari ayahku.

Sepanjang hidup ayahku, ayah mengambil nilai-nilai kehidupan nenek; pasrah, ikhlas, dan disiplin. Bila ayahku sudah menuliskannya, ya sudahlah. Pasrah mendapat apa yang harus ia hadapi, ikhlas dalam apapun yang didapatkanya dan disiplin dalam menjalankan kehehidupannya. Kita semua pasti sadar akan tiga hal itu. Bagiku, poin ketiga-lah yang sangat terlihat, beliau tetap merapkannya hanya hingga sakit menyerangnya yang membuat kebebasan nenek untuk bergerak sendiri lebih terbatasi.

Bila aku sendiri, aku selalu terngiang dengan semboyan nenek, gotong royong satu hati. Kalimat itu sangat tepat ditujukkan pada sebuah keluarga besar, keluarga besar nenek.

Nenek, Hj. Yama Soemargo binti Kenasin, adalah wanita yang tangguh, setia, dan pantang menyerah demi kesejahteraan anak-anaknya. Kini, anak-anaknya telah mampu berdiri di kaki mereka sendiri dan membangun keluarganya masing-masing, mengasuh anak dan cucu. Menyadari itu, mungkin, dengan kehendak Allah SWT, nenek membiarkan anak-anaknya melanjutkan perjalanan kehidupan tanpa dirinya dan membiarkan mereka menjelajahi kehidupan lagi dan nenek sendiri menyusul kakek Soemargo dan kakak-kakaknya serta sanak saudaranya yang lain dalam kedamaian. Amin.

Sangat sulit untuk melupakannya. Memang. Tapi siapa bilang kita harus melupakannya? Kita dapat mengenang segala hal baik tentangnya dan dapat pula menerapkan apa yang beliau lakukan, nilai-nilai positif ke dalam kehidupan kita juga.


 Via Path (August 13, 2014)

Please, let me say this: aku sangat bangga dapat terlahir di dalam bagan keluarga Soemargo, Yama Soemargo. Begitu banyak anak-cucu-cicit yang menyayanginya, mencintainya. Begitu banyak kenangan bersamanya. Baru sepintas aku lihat draft yang ada, airmataku bercucuran. Gagal sudah ambisi anehku untuk menahan tangis. Tapi sungguh, aku… Begitu banyak kenangan, pelajaran hidup yang sangat berharga. Ingin rasanya dapat mengikuti semua itu. Aku membayangkan ini baru seorang nenek yang kusayangi walau jarang bertemu bagaimana bila kedua orangtuaku nanti? Aku hanya berharap, aku tidak akan berubah menjadi anak yang begitu ‘mengagungkan’ dunia, terlalu berusaha keras mencapai ‘kesuksesan’ hingga melupakan apa dan siapa yang terpenting di kehidupanku. Please, just let me say that… This is just too much.